Despite daily mindfulness practice, both formal (sitting to meditate) and informal (mindfulness bell going off on my phone, taking long morning walks, etc.), my mind has been all over the place lately. Almost like I got to an intermediate level zeal and zen place and then hit a wall and bounced back to the beginning. Much like the branches of this tree that is across the road from our house, thoughts zig and zag and are constantly popping up and broken down into infinite little possibilities. This or that? Now or later? How and when?
'Tis the season for me. At least now I am way more confident in the whole "this too shall pass" concept. Also almost all of the "teachers" I've read or listened to say that set backs, or feeling like you "just aren't getting it anymore" are actually great chances to learn and grow even more. When you notice your brain is going haywire, it simply means that now you ARE noticing. That act of noticing itself is a sign of being mindful. You now have to practice not getting carried away by it all. If your thoughts were the tree, to draw your energy back in, bring attention back down from those tiny twigs, down to the solid core of the trunk.
One day last week I made it through initial gift shopping but immediately had to counter balance it with a bag of dark chocolate and dodge into a few thrift stores for some soothing solo thrift therapy. Optimistically buying a vintage sweater and cute long-sleeved dress...
I say optimistically because... I should be grateful for it (and used to it by now) I suppose, but really to be honest, this 70 degree weather in December just feels ALL WRONG and on top of all the holiday craziness it makes me feel gross** and all wore out, like a battered bouncy carousel horse with broken springs.
My Midwestern blood is still mystified by winter blooming shrubs.
And still amused by the odd setting I find myself in at times, such as a still-in-use 1800s building with an abandoned 1980s dish in the back yard.
Yesterday I sat outside said building, in short sleeves, capri shorts and flip flops, and crocheted during the Boy Scout Christmas Cook-Off. (If you zoom really close you can see my gray hair!) Anyway, I finished the comically large xmas stocking. Not sure if I'll have time to crank out two more, which was the idea originally. Except I think I'll have to since right now the boys are all fighting over who gets this one... because just think of all the Santa goodies that could be crammed into this baby!
**I AM okay with still being able to wear flip flops though. That is the one novelty of Southern Christmas that I can embrace.